Feeling Like A Loser - An Update


Hi ugly looking beautiful people of internet, I actually did not want to make this post, Cause this is going to be super short just an update. But yesterday was a super bad and depressing day, So I thought why not just rant a little bit. Also in all possibility there won't be any MindBeepTuesdays too, cause I have exams and I might study.
So yesterday I had an exam of Economics, stupid subject really, A lot of comparing India with different developed countries of the world, although India is a completely different country than them. So it's just comparing Apples and Oranges really, but anyway I gave the exam but my stupid, imbecile mind had other things to concentrate on. Not a thing really, well a person and it just drives me crazy when I think about it that why do I have to focus so much of my energy on someone, who well for one doesn't give a damn about my existence and second know me really and when you have someone on your mind, you end up doing some seriously stupid stuff, which again drives you mad. And that was precisely what happened with me, I spent my time observing them trying to make them like me and that made me, I mean it must have made me act not like I usually do. Ever noticed that we act differently with different sets of people, that friend who talks about underwear in person, might talk about "Cool Shizz"in front of his ladies friends. I think that has more to do with socio-cultural psychology and we will not delve much into it because I do not know a lot about it. So, anyway I was saying I spent my time and energy on a person but I just could not talk with them because in my head they are on a pedestal and I am just a peasant gripping with my normal ordinary probably gross for them problems and that intimidates me. So I just act awkward around them and mess things up and add it to the list of future regrets when I get home.
After exam though I decided to chill a bit in the evening in the college just because it feels great and a really great place to introspect and it all dropped down on me, I was alone there were no distractions I had to face the truth of the moment, I had been acting bizarre all day, I was not being me. It begs a question really does that one person mean so much in your life that you change the way you behave around them? You know it inside that they probably don't even notice you and care about your existence but you still go on about doing stupid random stuff. I felt bad, seriously bad, So I thought I will find a secluded place to sit and just listen to Shiloh and shit. When I found one such place, I saw a couple in distance and that was definitely not what I needed to see right then, So fucked right off there to the sports ground as I hoped no one would be there but to my astonishment losers like me were playing cricket and that just made me more sad because I did not know how to play cricket that well, So fucked off again to find another place to sit and this time I could a few more couples, So I took my phone out and made a call to Bajrang Dal and left for home.

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Also if you are interested in Fiction, I just wrote a rad piece of some fiction:
The Chilling Adventures Of Chandrashekhar 

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